I don’t remember what I was doing September 8th, 1989 twenty-eight years ago. I remember hearing about what Kent was doing that night twenty-eight years ago though. His friends were having a bachelor party for him. I heard the stories of that night. Probably shouldn’t be repeated, because I would get the “facts” all wrong anyway.
It was crazy what we were about to do. I’d like to believe it was the naivety of my age that I just jumped in without worrying about any consequences, but I have to admit that’s how I made decisions for a very long time.
Kent called me two weeks prior to this date 1989, He said, “are you ready for school? I’m coming to pick you up.” I said, “no, I’m not going.” He replied, “why?” I said, “because we are getting married.” He said, “ok.”
We went to our parents and told them our plans. Neither of our parents were happy, but we told them we were pregnant and had to get married. We at the time were to young to get married on our own, so we had to go in front of a judge for permission. Although we had lied to our parents about being pregnant we knew better than to lie to a judge. The judge asked if we were pregnant. Kent said, “no, but if you don’t allow us to marry she will be.” The judge made us promise we would wait two years before having children and quickly signed the license.
I lived with my mom and step dad. My mom, hadn’t told my dad about Kent and I’s plans. My dad found out from a friend who read that we had applied for a marriage license in the paper and asked him about it. I had a very uncommon maiden name. My dad then tried his best to talk us out of this crazy scheme of ours.
Despite everyone’s warnings, pleas and threats we went on with our plan. Now, being a mother of six I can only imagine what my parents and those around us were thinking. My mother did her best to give us a nice wedding, despite her intimate knowledge of failed marriages. She was on her third at the time and was only 34. I remember walking down the isle after my best friend and two younger sisters who were only ten and twelve at the time, with my dad and step dad. My dad tried furiously to get me to run minutes before I said,” I do.” He kept saying,” its not to late, you don’t have to do this.”
Being the child of parents who were divorced and the grandchild on all sides, of divorce, I stood at the alter thinking…I just need to do this. I can get a divorce whenever I want out. This is not forever. I was just looking for a way to get away from the madness I lived with at home.
At the time I was not pregnant. I was so naive in so many areas and knew to much in other areas. Two months later I did become pregnant, despite my step dad taking me to make sure I was on birth control. He was always responsible and caring and tried thinking ahead. He was and has truly been a lifeline to me even when my own parents have abandoned me over and over. Abortion had never crossed my mind. And although I made decisions as a teenage girl, the second I found out that I was pregnant I turned from my childish ways and became determined to be a mom and family with my child’s dad. My hubby took a bit longer to come to that realization.
I vowed my child would not come from a broken home. Despite that vow I had no idea how to do that. I had never seen a couple stay married and be committed to each other. Not one single person I knew had stayed married. I just prayed and stayed the course.
Today, I can’t tell you how we made it this far. All I know is I am so incredibly thankful that I was to damned stubborn to let anything tear us apart. We have literally endured about any problem a married couple could endure. Even after nearly thirty years of marriage mentally unstable family have tried tearing us apart just this year. Despite the ploys of those closest to us and the ploys of this world we have endured. We have become closer than ever before. And I am so blessed that we will be starting our twenty ninth year together. We didn’t give up; and we never will.