fullsizeoutput_394I believe we wouldn’t be going through this if we had passed trials of the past five years. We get a big fat F for that trial. But, like my title says we will keep our heads high and keep on keeping on. We are determined to surrender all and not fail this trial. This trial is going to be the one to bring us to victory. I think sometimes we have to surrender moment by moment and not look to anything but today. What are you struggling with today? Is it a struggle to submit to your spouse or your boss? Or is it food or pornography? Are you being judgmental, angry and hurtful towards someone inwardly or outwardly holding on to some resentment? Are you lusting after someone or something. I have found that lust is so prevalent. And not even in the sexual sense. For us women I think it starts with having the perfect pinterest clean and organized home. I could sit for hours looking at pinterest just wasting away my day. Where is that going to get me in the whole scheme of things? It has helped me escape things I didn’t want to deal with, which has gotten me in a whole lot of mess. But, it could have been prevented if I just would have surrendered all those years ago. I hear people talk about everything is okay in balance. I think our scales need to be tipped towards God not balanced with everything else we do in life. He has to be truly first. Everyone has to work out their own salvation. So what does that look like for you? For me, right now I have found someone to be accountable to. I am committing to attending church two times a week and doing a Bible study with a friend. I’m on overkill filling myself up with the word if there is such a thing. If I don’t I’d be a hermit that would find a cabin in the mountain and never come out. But, I believe living out and working out my salvation requires a community of God loving and fearing people around me. I have to seek those people out. It took me awhile to figure out God wouldn’t just drop them in the middle of my living room like I thought he should. I guess I have to do some of the work.

As my new mentor said the other day, I am to be my hubbies help mate. I’ve been a fairly good helpmate if I do say so myself. LOL! Now I get to help the hubs be the best prison inmate he can be. Not sure there is anything I can read about doing that. Maybe I can help someone else be a good helpmate to their prisoner spouse. As I make light of this right now, our hearts are heavy with a friend whose spouse has been diagnosed with a ALS. She has maybe three years to live. What would I do with those last three years? How would I live differently? I think it sure helps show us what is important.

Like with me, I think to myself how Kent and I love to do things around our house. No matter how broke we are I find something he can improve around our house for free or with junk laying around the property. Its hard spending time looking at the instagram photos and pinterest or my own lists of things I want to do around here and think, will we even be able to stay in our house?

My priorities instantly change to okay I can live without this or that I just want to be able to stay here with the kids, the home they have known for the past six years and a place for Kent to come home to. Those pictures and projects don’t seem so important, in fact, they don’t matter to me at all.

Mathew 6:31-33

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you